New Wife Cooking

So your married now and well your husband needs to eat a little less subway and a little more at home with you. Now we both know and agree it is not 1940 but there is still something inside that might happen every week or once a month when we feel we should cook dinner.. How are you gonna pull this off...a birdy told me you are a nacho expert. Well not really a birdy but facebook did. So I am here to rescue you! well kind of,  Here are 3 recipes that are so easy. You could copy them down and tape them inside your cupboard for an easy peasy yummy dinner...


the first homemade pesto..


What you need:
a blender or food processor
2 cups fresh basil
1hand full of walnuts or pin nuts (walnuts are cheaper)
some garlic
olive oil
whole wheat noodles
Parmesan cheese


First - wash the basil
second - cut out the stem parts of the leaves.
third - boil water for noodles
fourth - put basil and a table spoon size splash of olive oil in the blender
fifth - blend basil and add olive oil till you get the consistency you would like. It will be very pasty at first.
sixth - add noodles to water
seventh - blend in your handful of nuts and a little bit garlic
eight - strain noodles when they are done
ninth - serve up noodles with some of your yummy sauce and sprinkle with Parmesan


yummmm!


Next we have a cold stormy day meal that does take a little time but it is SOOOO worth the effort! These are homeade noodles my favorite thing ever. I like them best made in to a simple chicken noodle soup.


what you need:
Rolling pin
pizza cutter
large pot
2 cups flour - white or wheat or you can do a mixture
2 Eggs beaten
2 table spoons of oil
5 tablespoons of water
1/2 table spoon of salt
some chicken broth - i usually buy the sodium free kind in a huge can. You need a least two huge cans


I a huge bowl combine the flour and salt. Than mix in the water, oil and beaten eggs. Stir for a while until dough can be formed in to a ball. Wrap dough in plastic and let it sit at room temperature for an hour. Now go for a run, vacuum, look at etsy, or dogs that need homes. Whatever. After your hour is up get out a huge pot and dump your broth in to it and set it on high so it can get to a boil. While your waiting for that to boil flour your counter and roll out your dough hafe the ball at a time. Little tip, you can freeze your rolling pin because the dough wont stick to cold as bad, and also flour it as you go. When it is thinned out use your pizza cutter and cut long noodles as wide or thin as your would like. Than set aside on a towel and do the other half. Usually my broth is ready about this time and since I am impatient I usually start dropping them in. So turn your broth down a little so it is not at a high boil but a lower one and drop the noodles in to the pot stirring occasionally. After all the noodles are in occasionally stir. Than after a while check on them, feel free to turn it down a little and put a lid on them. They will cook right up for a yummy dinner.


ps. you could also bake a few chicken breasts and chop them up and mix them in to the soup...yummmm


on my third memorized menu item is even simpler. you only need 3 things


a cup
orange juice
champagne


first - get out the cup - wine glass, keg cup, flute, whatever..
second - pour champagne into glass about 3/4 of the way
third - pour in a splash of orange juice
fourth - drink
fifth - smile


Now i hope this inspired you to go put on an apron and cook up some yummies..if not here are so go to websites for you...


http://www.smittenkitten.com/
http://www.allrecipies.com/
http://www.bakerella.com/

Trish's Wedding Quilt

I knew you needed a quilt as a wedding present...but well..I wasn't sure what design I wanted to do. Most traditional quilters give and make a wedding ring design for wedding gifts..well I wanted something a little more special...and a little more Trish. So I started the concept to have others in the wedding help me to create the perfect quilt to represent your special day. Here is the story of your wedding quilt...

The fabric for the squares I bought the floral print about a month after you got engaged Trish. Knew I had to use it for something for you. :) The other fabrics are mostly Micheal Miller and I think really have a cheery modern-retro look to them.

After I got all the fabric cut I began the fun part of matching up the squares. My living room carpet looks so bright and cheery as I did this! After they were all matched I sewed and trimmed each square.

One of the most unique and special elements of this quilt is that I asked each bridesmaid to make a square. I mailed them a few chunks of yellow fabric and the flower print and told them to be creative just have it represent Alex and Trish and their love/wedding ... here is what the girls came up with..

This one is Dana's..I love the little blossoms!

This one is from Kailie(not sure how to spell her name) two love birds kissing.

This one is by Ashley who also designed the wedding invites. This is the design on the invites!

This sprinkler of love was maid by Melissa.

Now after planning this quilt for so long. You would think i would have a grand idea for my square. I didn't. I knew I wanted wedding theme but was not sure what to do...so here is my process

I think it came out pretty cute.. Anyway, so than I had to do the layout...

Then it got a boarder. I just love the way the yellow patterns warmed the quilt up.

 (Notice I have taught lewie he can't lay on quilts while I am making them. He is pouting..)

Now every quilt needs a back. But who wants a boring back...

I used scrapes to outline the hearts:)

After the back was done it was time to make a sandwich...a quilt sandwich..

I taped the bottom layer..aka the back to the carpet than placed the filling and the top in place and started pinning....

After all the pins were in I began to quilt it together. Due to the personalized squares I decided to do hearts randomly on the quilt.

To do the hearts I made a cardboard stencil and than used my handy dandy disappearing ink pen to sketch a few on at a time. Than just followed the pattern.

After all the hearts were on...and I bound the quilt with white..I put on my quilt label which luckily came in the mail just in time!

Love the label!

Now here is the finished quilt!

Front...

Back...

And all wrapped up for Mrs. Jones to open :)

5 ways to make your dress not fit

Here are my five ways to ensure your dress will not fit you. This is meant to be light hearted and ease your worries… your dress is gonna look perfect!

1. Decide you want to be like Dolly! Who doesn’t love Dolly Parton? And if you love Dolly you probably also love her blessings from the plastic surgeon. Now if you go visit that man who gave her those blessings, in hope to look as great as her… your dress wont fit…

2. Get an all back tattoo - Ok now I will admit you will still probably fit in to your dress if you do this. But lets be honest, a back piece freshly done is not the most flattering thing to be seen on the bride, it will make it look like you don’t fit in your dress....

3. Eat the entire old country buffet. They claim to have the best buffet food in America. With a wide variety of food stations, and five ways of cooking just shrimp they are sure to have plenty of food for your belly. But if you eat a something of everything, just a warning, YOU WON’T FIT. There is just no way. Your belly will become Santa clause immediately and we will have to get you a red coat to wear next Friday.

4. Be a tester for the new reality series “honey we shrunk the bride.” I know that it probably sounds tempting to try since as a child you probably always wanted to spend a day discovering nature from the size of an ant. But let me warn you. Your dress wont shrink with you, just you. So your dress won’t fit.

5. Take your dress to a seamstress who’s main job is fitting midgets. Now the top will probably still look stunning if you do this, but the bottom portion…well..it will vanish before it is return to you. The manikin your dress is being placed on is only about 2.5 feet shorter than you, so your booty will not be showing thanks to your discount midget seamstress. So in other words…your dress won’t fit.


Now...go try on your dress and realize it fits perfectly!!

Creative Eats

So much money at every wedding is spent on food!!! I think most of my friends who have planned or are planning their wedding would agree that feeding all their guests is a stress they could do without. Sometimes budgets are expanded just because of the dinner element to the celebration. Everyone wants their guests to be happy with what they are served and satisfied but also they don't want to do what everyone else has done. Anyway, here is a list i have complied of creative ways to cater your wedding.. :)
1. Taco Time is my favorite fast food, so this won't surprise many of you but if u get married on a Tuesday in Enumclaw or Bonny Lake you can get 2 for $1 tacos. Which are yummy and come in chicken or beef. Order the biggest side of chips and salsa ever and u have a fiesta for cheep!!! Oh you don't want to get married on a Tuesday, well i bet you could still get a bunch of soft tacos for cheaper than that cater is quoting you.

2. So you met your sweetie in college and are planning your big day. What a better way to show everyone where your loved blossomed than with your reception. Your already planning a keg or two, so your on the right path there (don't forget red cups) your next step is to share a meal of the foods you enjoyed in college. So maybe some top ramen, stove top stuffing, Tony's pizza, banquet dinners, and some easy mac!! You should also have the red bull car show up just to help pull off the theme.  If you wanted to take it to the next level you could get zips fries with fry sauce and Rosa's cheesy bread with ranch. yummm

3. "Share the happy couples happiness with this happy meal" that's what I would write on the dinner cards where your guests could check a box for cheese burger or chicken nuggets.  You might also want to add options for ketchup and sweet and sour sauce. :)

4. The hot dog truck. There is one in Buckley and they are starting to show up in other places now too. You should hire them to drive up to your wedding site, and just put a sign, hot dogs on us!!! cheep, easy, and mess free. Plus your mom doesn't have to recruit any friends to help.  I would like mine with relish please!

This one is my favorite, I would have totally done this if i had thought of it sooner....
5. Do you frequent a teriayki joint? Do they know you by name? Is the establishment known for giving you way to much food for $7. Well you my friend have just hit the jackpot. With my calculations you could feed 3 people(at least) with one order of chicken teriakyi. I would recommend some pot stickers for every table, and a mix of chicken, veggie fried rice, and maybe Mongolian beef! So order ahead, have it ready, organize some kitchen helping elves, than put it in to nicer dishes and serve!!! who doesn't love take out?

So did I inspire you to change your wedding menu? Nope? Dang...maybe i inspired your next dinner instead. I could really go for some stove top, its been forever.

ugly 6

I have posted ugly dresses before but this time I think I found some new winners. Here are six dresses decribed in six words each. Enjoy.

 grochry bags tied in a knot

 Pollyanna gets married while in Dollywood

 aspires to be a layered cake

 walmart had sheer curtains on sale

 Amish gone wild marring a Quaker

She wants to die right now

may the force be with you

Everyone wants a good wedding day but these brides took good to mean they needed the force on their side. We all have favorite movies but these brides took it a little to far..

I wonder if which one the groom is?

No only are this bride and groom into star wars, but apparently so are all their friends and family. To all my friends who read this...if you have a star wars wedding i will not be dressing up to match..i apologize now.

This wedding wanted to give the formal storm trooper look. My question here is if the groom is surprising the bride with this theme change...

ahh how romantic..light sabers..or life savers as a little kid at church calls them...

i am a little curious if they dressed up a midget as yoda or a kid?

this one is by far the winner! Chew is there!!! and the little guy in the front is dressed up as R2D2...they believed in their theme...but still...not for me...however this wig would help if your a bride worried you wouldn't be able to get the full effect...

grossss....

now if i was to theme a wedding after my favorite movie we would have no places for my lovely friends...unless u all came as wendy peffercorn..but than who would I be...hummm....i would need to marry benny the jet obviously... :)

ps... i still to this day have the sandlot memorized....

odd wedding photo of the week

HONEY I SHRUNK THE GROOM!!!!!!

who comes up with these ideas? photoshop is great, but really...this is just odd..i do wonder though if she is like 10 feet tall and he is a midget...i sure hope so and that they did this as a spin off to their height difference.

remembering myspace quizes....

Ever been arrested? NOPE!!!!
Most hated chore on the household chore list? laundry
What do you consider your greatest achievement? graduating from college and getting a good job? not really sure..but that works i think
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "good work snodgrass"
Do you have any phobias? mice
If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? cartwheels
If you could be one kind of beer which one would you be and why? kokanee gold! cause its amazing duh!
If you were a kitchen appliance – what would you be? ummm my kitchen aid mixer?
Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid: the ice cream man & summers off
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?my brother and i were going to own our own porta potty company called scotties potties..Which is the best vacation you’ve ever had? san deigo with a bunch of friends probably
Which is the most funniest prank played on you or played by you? i hid natalies cell phone in the celling and kept calling it...
What is the craziest thing you have ever done? oh man..not sure how to answer this one..
List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself: my popping jaw
Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? daddy
If you could change the world what would you do? end hunger
Name 1 thing you love about being an adult: having money and happy hour
Which would you rather have, $50,000 or true love? love
Do you believe everything happens for a reason? i want to but i am not sure
What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? moving away from home to go to college
What would be your dream job? today? stay at home poodle mom who quilts and attends happy hour with her besties daily
If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? Kathleen Erin?lol
Name three exotic countries you would like to visit: costa rica, Brazil and Argentina
If you could add a single option to your car, what would you add? fly
If you could start your own restaurant, what would it be? a sports bar/grill with amazing french dips.
What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? kiddos
If you could go on a road trip with any person (dead or alive), who would you choose and where would you go? me and u could go to new Orleans for mardi gras!

sk8 park wedding

Shes loves her the sk8er boy...or should i say BMXer boy...I think Avril LeVigne would be proud of this green converse wearing brunette bride. Married at the sk8 park. (i write sk8 instead of skate because it makes me looker more punk) Her husbands favorite place on earth..ahhh how romantic...check out these photos ...

lets start on the romantic sitting pose on top of a minor vert ramp. They are gazing off in the distance, like its a pretty sunset off the California coast...but in reality we all know its probably some group of teens smoking or a cop questioning a kid with a spray paint can in his hand. (by the way, this photographer did a great job erasing the graffiti in photoshop)In this photo we get the front view of them gazing off into the sunset...love the placement of the bike..like its a pretty bouquet of flowers or a classic car...really its a crappy old black bike, even the rubber tires don't match...classy! (again, good job getting rid of the graffiti photographer, we all know no skate parks ramps look that clean)

Now for the group photo...glad they didn't forget this or the pile of crappy bikes...looks like a few members of the bridal party don't use sk8 park much (sorry that was mean)... the grooms men look pretty conservative from what i expected, but i really wish that pile of bikes was in front of those bridesmaids AWFUL mis matching dresses...even the tones of green are off.. ugly..yucky...i would like to point out the one groomsman with the sean white hair...so expected! love it!

off to live happily ever after they will ride on the little black bike...with a cardboard just married sign...how much do you want to bet that sign was made on the back of a busch light box..i can guarantee it. I also love the grooms look here..old jeans, the i dont get a crap facial expression...sitting on his bike like..."enough already, i need a smoke' I think the bride just got gum on her shoe..and is trying to fake that smile...

gotta love the sk8er/bmx wedding..bless there hearts..btw..do u think they paid the poser kids to get out of the park for their celebration...

5 Awesome!

Awesome things in my life at the moment!

inspired by the blog link u left me and the need for me to be more positive and thankful for my blessings :)

1. The first is a book I just finished. It was a quick read and I cant recommend it enough to EVERYONE!!!!! It has already been a blessing to me and is a nice wake up call that Jesus is for real! i am sure some people will think its a fiction story and try to talk down the whole thing, but i loved it and i know u would too! order it! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0849946158/ref=cm_cr_mts_prod_img

2. My teapot and tea kettle. I make at least one pot of tea a day usually two. It keeps me from snacking, also keeps me smiling cause my teapot is so dang cute!

3. My second job. no only for the $$ benefit but because it is helping me connect with other families and people in enumclaw that I would have never known otherwise. oh and to top it off its fun and good to be busy

4. the discovery of legendary doughnuts..this one isn't so awesome for my booty but it is for my taste buds. located in lakeland hills its like a mini voodoo doughnuts and oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh so yummy.

5. my new granol bar recipe. i have moved on from cookies and am now a granola bar making addict. tonight's batch will be almond, coconut, sunflower seed, with white chocolate...yummm

Odd Wedding Photo of the Week

This save the date is truly one of a kind. Sent for what i hope is a Halloween wedding, but really? does it matter? the save the date is disgusting! I find it ironic that the brides name is Angel and of course his name is Dave. I am sure Dave enjoys video games, collecting comic books and watching 80's horror movies. They both obviously believe in Zombies and will have a blood velvet cake! ewww...and can I just say. I would not save the date if I got this in the mail!

this should make u smile...

If this doesnt make u smile nothing can. I just love how picture perfect they look desipite the wind! (She has perfect legs) good thing she wasnt wearing any crazy undies!

first comes love... than comes a baby....

Baby's are very popular and they never go out of style. For generations people have loved them, wanted them and showed them off. I cant say the same about baby names though, they change with the trends and catch on for a few years and than disappear. Lately while working in many gyms at basketball games from kindergartner to middle school aged i have noticed some names that i ask you never name your child. Here is the list and why.

River - Know i know forest has been popular and around for along time, and maybe that is this boys brothers name, actually i am going to assume it is. But nevertheless River does not make a good name. Especially when the high school in your home town is called White River, and well...u might have conceived the child down by the river....Lets just say that River as a name needs to float down the river.

CaidenAidenBraidenJaiden - Why did i combine these you ask? Because they are all the same! Sound the same, all to popular! Don't believe me? you yell Aiden in a gym full of kids and see how many look over at you. I can guarantee in Puyallup at least half of the boys would and maybe a few girls too who are named Jaiden. Because these names all sounds the same, there are not enough different sounds between them. Mind you, all the parents thought they were being unique, but really. Nope! all the same! TRENDY NAME!

Maddy, Madi, Madee, Mady, Maddie, Madie - For the sake of this one i am going to use the spelling Maddy in my deception. These are all different ways to spell Maddy in our computers here at work. Again a case of parents thinking they are creative with the name, but really just making it harder for teachers. Anyway I have two issues with this name. The first is obvious. I hate how many ways parents try to spell it. Most use it as the "nickname" for Madison, a few for Madalyn but by "nickname" they really mean the use all the time expect on the birth certificate name. Last year in preschool we have 4 Maddy's all with different spellings, totally ridiculous. I am not saying one is right and one is wrong. I just wish parents would pow wow and decide so the world (and the kids) weren't confused and always asking which version is your child. Second thing i cant stand about the name Maddy is simple..the first part is MAD why would you name your kid Mad? is your sun gonna be ANGERson?. Madison and Angerson, brother and sister filled with joy...i think not!

(Sorry went a little long on that. I hate the name Maddy)

Nevaeh -yes Heaven backwards. Na-Va-Ah i hear it way more than I should. really? heaven backwards? I think heaven is cool and all but my husband likes the red sox. Do you see all red sox fans naming there kids xos der, red sox backwards! anyway i just think the name is dumb and to fluffy sounding. please don't use it...

Rian - to me this looks like Rain, but it is pronounced RYAN...Parents who do this weird "creative" spelling thing with normal American names piss me off! There is no reason for it, except to confuse dyslexic people like myself. Please don't do something like this.

Jacob or Jake - they are all hellions and ALL get nicknamed the snake. Jake the SNAKE! Just not good. I sware Jake means "I will be a rowdy trouble maker in my summer camp"

Ahhh i could probably go on for a while and convince you of never naming your child many more names, but i wont..that is my list for now! Happy name hunting! ...in 3 years

odd wedding photo of the week

So its my Monday and of course I have a sugar craving! but apparently this bride has a HUGE sweet tooth as well. GREEN jelly beans, HOT PINK peeps, and than yellow daisys. I have to admit I like the creativity. Just a little thrown off by how the bunnies look like they are trapped in a glass box! I picture this bride being a little bigger of a girl. Hope thats not mean, its honest. I think its just the using sugar as a centerpiece thing. I wonder if they used the chics in other ones....hummm i also wonder how many little boys reached in and got a snack? well little boys and drunks!

This is...

Your Wedding Cake IF........ 1. You marry a jig-a-loo (JIG..A LOOO..JIGG JIGG ALOO!!! I START UP HIGH I END DOWN LOW AND THIS IS HOW I JIG..A LOOOO..JIGG JIGG ALOOO)

2. You marry a member of the insane clown posse, which would be insane so please don't.

3. You get a free cake and the cake designer just uses all the crap from the bad birthday theme no one picked.

on a side note....i wonder what flavor it is. maybe grape? or blood velvet? no way that its funfetti!

Your Own Plates

Being royal has its benefits! As we all know, but did u also know that for your wedding you get your own commemorative china? As crazy as it seems copies of it are selling like hotcakes on a cold Alaska day.. Take a look:

Yes it is UGLY, BORING and OH SO BRITISH! It looks like they sell it on QVC to me, but nevertheless they actually sell it on the Royal family website. Whatever i think its tacky. but the idea of having your own china intrigues me. This Plate below was designed by Laura Bush and is a piece of there White House China from there presidency. I think its classy but still fun and magnolias apparently are one of Laura's favorite flowers. Way less traditional looking that the dang British wedding plates.

so you are probably wondering why i am talking about plates...well i have decided i am going to design one for you! well, me and the lovely people at etsy.com here are your choices below:

Choice 1: Personalized love birds on a enchanting tree- Captivating the earthly spirit of your wedding day. This matches perfectly with what you have shared with me so far!

Choice 2: Personalized Figurines- Let your wedding style be ever captivated in this hand painted picture of you and Alex! (Note: only the names will be changed, cause that's as close to looking like u as this "artist" will get)

Choice 3: Organic Handmade Wooden- This soft apple wood plate guarantees a woodsy feeling will be brought to your tables and no two plates will be exactly the same. Each hand made and shatter proof! Choice 4: Belongs at Bills- This plate need no introduction. The only thing missing from it to be fulfilling its title is the girls boobs showing. It would be a great conversation starter at the dinner tables and a great way to show off your sense of humor.

Please let me know which you would like to choose and i will have them commissioned immediately. And if you can't decide...I will pick! or maybe just design a pill box for you. the royals have a pill box you can buy to commemorate there wedding. Every time someone takes there drugs they will remember your special day.